When shocking things happen, we as individuals strive
to understand. The tradgedy at New Town, Conneticut touches us all. I cannot be
distant from this horrific event. Every person who has ever loved a child, a
son, a daughter, niece, nephew, or dedicated themselves to working with
children has a hollow feeling of loss in their hearts. My mind struggles to
make sense of this—my thoughts wander through darkness trying to find meaning.
Grief for me is a cold, lonely thing and I just want
to reach out and make the world warm again.
What happened is real to me. The news reports arouse
memories of the years I spent working in the schools. The Sandy Hook educators
are my kindred spirits. I know their days. The reading teacher, the school
psychologist—their thoughts are my thoughts. The sights and sounds of the
school day--the day’s routines—the aliveness and hopefulness in the children’s
faces—the deep, peaceful joy of helping them learn gave meaning to my days. To
be of service to children is a wonderful work---these educators are my kindred
spirits.
I remember one of my own students, a blond, blue-eyed
third grade boy, who never returned from the school holiday. His friend shot
him. The boys had found his father’s loaded gun under the bed.
I think about the young Connecticut shooter. Not much
is known about him. He is described as a child alone in the group of peers,
someone vulnerable and at risk of peer influence. Home schooled because the
school environment was too much for him. His babysitter states his mother said
Adam should never be left alone. As a school psychologist, these statements are
red flags to me. I wonder why Adam did not receive the services he needed. I
speculate did he have an undiagnosed Pervasive Developmental Delay? These
individuals are often very intelligent but when a thought consumes their
thinking it becomes reality--they act and react totally unaware of logical
consequences, or moral rightness.
Is this shooting tragedy the result of our
gun-obsessed culture? We are a gun-addicted culture; addicts use
crutches—alcohol, drugs, and sex—to feel in control of their lives. It is my
belief that the gun obsessed cling to their guns out of fear of the unknown and
an addiction to the head rush they get when firing their guns. Getting the gun
obsessed to give up a gun will be as difficult as telling a junkie his survival
depends on giving up dope.
I do not need a gun to feel safe, confident or
powerful and I feel sorrow for those who do need a gun to cope with life. I was
saddened and disgusted to hear a former US Secretary of Education say that
every school should have an armed adult—that this would keep tragedy from
occurring. Guns to counteract guns—violence to counter act violence. This idea
pains my soul. I believe we are at a spiritual cross road the lighted road of
hope and healing, or the dark road of reactionary fear.
I have always been drawn to John Donne’s poem No
Man Is An Island.
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
How can we understand—make meaning of this horrific tragedy? How can we help
and heal? I remember reading Viktor Frankl’s book Man's Search for
Meaning. In Frankl’s
1946 book he tells of his experiences as an inmate in concentration
camp. He describes his self realized method of finding a reason to
live, to continue. “We who lived in concentration camps can remember
the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last
piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient
proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human
freedoms—to choose one’s own attitude in any given set of circumstances—to
choose one’s own way.”
Frankl concludes that the meaning of life is found
in every moment of living; life never ceases to have meaning, even in suffering
and death. In a group therapy session during a mass fast inflicted on the
camp's inmates trying to protect an anonymous fellow inmate from fatal
retribution by authorities, Frankl offered the thought that for everyone in a
dire condition there is someone looking down, a friend, family member, or even
God, who would expect not to be disappointed.
----A thought transfixed me:
for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many
poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth – that
love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I
grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought
and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I
understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss,
be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a
position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive
action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the
right way – an honorable way – in such a position man can, through loving
contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For
the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words,
"The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite
glory...."
Frankl suggests
that there are things we can do to help ourselves, 1.) Creativity or
giving something to the world through self-expression, 2.) Experiencing the
world by interacting authentically with our environment and with others, and
3.) Changing our attitude when we are faced with a situation or circumstance
that we cannot change.
Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give
our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it. At one point,
Frankl writes that a person “may remain brave, dignified and unselfish, or in
the bitter fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and
become no more than an animal.”
Frankl’s most enduring insight is--forces beyond
one’s control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your
freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control
what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and
do about what happens to you.
How we choose to respond as a nation is a spiritual challange. May the Creator bless us and give us the strength to move forward with hope and love as we face building our tomorrow.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/no-man-is-an-island/
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