I am
being cyber bullied by a man named A. Carroll, PHD. After a little online research,
I found that he has done this to many others as well. I had never heard of this
man in my life. But he decided he does not like the way I live my life, based
on what he read about me on my blog. Do I
have suggestions for people who are being cyber bullied? I’m not really sure.
The
bully wants to believe they are superior, in control, have the power, and will attack
you in your most vulnerable heart spot. I have a lot of compassion for those
who buy into the bully’s view of the world. The scariest bully is the one who
is also clinically narcissistic, as they can lose control and act out.
Carroll
seems to resent anyone who does not match his personal rule book, which no one
has a copy of but him. He claims he has a right to harass based on the fact
that he is a minority. He seems to be a Trumpian-style person, who enjoy slandering and belittling people. (in his head, he has a
right to bully, he is offended that I enjoyed my class on Nemenhah)
The
email I received from him was most revealing. It was apparent there was very
little reason for me to reply to it because he knows everything and all white
people are racist ----so there is absolutely no reason for me to say anything.
But of course, I did reply, so we’ll see what happens next. I took a humor
approach in my posted reply. It will be fun to see if the bully leaves it. I took this tactic because it made me feel empowered. If I lived in the same town as he does I would not do this, see the warning in paragraph 2.
Cyberbullying is when the bully uses technology,
such as the Internet, emails, text messages, or social media, to harass,
threaten, or humiliate a person. It seems to haunt your life because it’s not
limited to just a handful of witnesses but exists in cyber space over time. Unlike
traditional bullying, it does not require face-to-face contact and does not
require physical power or strength in numbers.
Anyone with an Internet connection or mobile phone
can cyberbully someone else, often without having to reveal their true
identity. Cyberbullies can torment
you 24 hours a day, seven
days a week. Because of the nature of the internet, the bullying can follow you
anywhere. It can feel like no place, not even home, feels safe. The harassment
and humiliation can be witnessed by hundreds or even thousands of people
online.
The methods used to cyberbully
can be as varied and imaginative as the technology that the bully has access
to. It can range from
sending threatening or taunting messages via email, text, social media, or IM
to breaking into your email account, or stealing one’s online identity to hurt
and humiliate. Cyberbullies may even create a website or social media page to
target you.
Cyberbullying
can make you feel like you’re stranded somewhere that no-one else can get to
with no-one who understands, and nowhere to turn for help.
Coping
Strategies
Don’t respond immediately keep in mind
that the person who’s targeting you wants you to respond.
Follow up when you’re calmer and get a
proper feel for the situation before contacting the person who is cyberbullying
you.
Take screenshots This is the best way
for you to report an instance of cyberbullying.
Try to stop compulsively checking posts
and limit your social media time to a few hours a day, and you can take a break
from the online world to look after yourself.
Report and block. Most social media
sites want to help you feel safe online, so they have a lot of built-in tools
to keep you safe.
There are some good ideas on how to deal with
cyberbullies. However, there is no easy, simple solution to stop cyberbullying.
Typically, bullying or cyberbullying is rarely limited to one or two incidents.
It's more likely to be a sustained attack over a period of time. You may have
to be relentless in your efforts to confront bullying, and to maintain
mental/emotional resilience.
Key ideas to remember:
The bully is the person with the problem, not you. Don't blame yourself. No matter
what a bully says or does, you should not be ashamed of who you are or what you
feel.
The bully is an unhappy, frustrated person who wants
to have control over your feelings so that you feel as badly as they do. Don't
give them the satisfaction. Try to view bullying from a different perspective
Don't make a bullying incident worse by dwelling on
it or reading cyberbullying messages over and over. Delete any messages and
focus on the positive experiences in your life. Don't beat yourself up there are many
wonderful things about you so be proud of who you are.
Finding healthy ways to de-stress can make you more resilient so
you won't feel overwhelmed by negative experiences. Try: exercise, meditation,
positive self-talk, muscle relaxation, and breathing exercises are all good
ways to cope with the stress of bullying.
The more time you spend with activities that bring
you pleasure the less significance bullying or cyberbullying will have on your
life. Spend time doing things
you enjoy: sports, hobbies, hanging out with friends who don't
participate in bullying.
The bully wants to have power over you and to make
you feel less than. I would suggest you find a way to empower yourself and your
thinking.
Any person who would bully another, and any person
who justifies their own bullying, or abusive behavior is a mentally sick
person. This type of person cannot be reasoned with, you can never win them
over. If you are in danger make a plan to get out of the situation.
Stay strong, do not let anyone steal your joy, bliss, or light.
Empower yourself and find an online support group. Better yet, start your own
real life support group; new friends can often be more interesting than the
old. You could try doing volunteer work; reaching out a helping hand to others
reminds us that we have a valuable role to play in life.
https://www.talkspace.com/blog/2017/07/7-ways-to-deal-with-cyberbullying/
http://medicinebags.blogspot.com/2008/07/al-carroll-and-nafps-site-shut-down.html
